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Contests & Giveaways, Forgiveness, Guest Posts

Forgiveness by Janet Raftis.

February 12, 2013

I had no idea the response for the Forgiveness blog contest would be so overwhelmingly large. There were so many great ones ( I got over 100) that I will publish one every day this week. I love you guys. 

This essay is by Janet Raftis, an inspiring life coach living in Atlanta. Janet has taken a few of my workshops in Georgia at Hazard County Yoga and she is fantastic. Please get to know her. Offer her a comment at the end or connect with her on Facebook. Also, here is a link to her own blog which I suggest you check out.

Click to connect with Janet

Click to connect with Janet

Forgiveness by Janet Raftis.

I spent years punishing myself. I punished myself for things that others had done to me and for things that I had done to others. I did it by systematically beating myself down, abusing my body and numbing myself out. I punished myself for not being good enough, and sometimes I did it for being too good. No matter what I did, or how I acted, it was never right.

I don’t even remember what it was that constituted the first betrayal, but once the ball was set in motion, it snowballed. I found ways to hurt myself and I found ways to hurt others. The punishment increased. I smoked, I drank heavily, I took drugs. I neglected to eat properly, and I gave up athletics. I took to drinking a ridiculous amount of coffee to bring me back up during the day, and the cycle of emotional binging and purging continued.

The self-hatred was carefully disguised, and I never would have believed that I was intentionally harming myself. I admitted to being a little insecure, because that was acceptable. At some point, I realized that I was seriously harming myself – and others – and I sought change. But I didn’t know how to do this. One by one, I dropped my habits of destruction, but the more I shed them, the worse I felt. I teeter-tottered amongst them, searching for balance and never being able to achieve it. I felt naked and scared. I felt isolated and alone. I would drop one vice and then pick up another, each slightly less dangerous than the one before, but harmful nonetheless.

Around four years ago, I formally quit drinking. This was my first lesson in forgiveness. I took a sincere step to do something loving for myself. I started to listen to what other people were suggesting, and I realized that if they could be happy, I could be too. But how? I still felt pretty bad, and I still felt really angry. I had a few resentments that could make my skin crawl. People told me that I had to forgive them. They told me that to not forgive them was to continue to hurt myself. I wasn’t ready to give the resentments up, though. I had a lot of self-righteous anger gnawing at my core. They had hurt me, dammit! They should feel my wrath!

The problem, though, was that they didn’t feel my anger. In some cases, they had no fucking idea, and in others, they just didn’t fucking care. And I was sitting in the corner, stewing in my own muck, feeling hated, alone, unworthy, and violated. Life wasn’t fair! How could it be that those assholes got off scott-free, while I continued to feel so much hurt inside? How was it that I was so raw that even an off look from another could re-open every single wound that I had?

I wasn’t willing to let go, and so I let it sit there for a while, and I worked on cleaning other parts of myself up. The first step in doing this required that I practice acceptance. I had to be willing to accept that I had done some pretty lame things. I had hurt others, either through selfishness, stupidity, or ignorance. I had to see my part in my resentments, and I had to acknowledge that I had done the best that I could do in any given moment with the growth and understanding that I had at the time. It happened the way that it happened, and so there was no other available outcome possible. I had to accept that I am not perfect, and that perfection is not a requirement (nor even really desired) in this lifetime. I began to understand where I was operating from, and that I was not a bad person. I may have been lost, scared, or lonely, but I was not bad. Once acceptance of who I really was set in, forgiveness began to flow naturally.

For the first time ever, I realized that I was a spiritual being having a human experience, and that a huge part of this lifetime is learning to relate and interact with other humans. I was able to see myself compassionately, and this opened a huge door for me. Finally, once I could see myself through the lens of compassion, I could see others through it too.

Some of my resentments just melted away. Once I saw my role in everything, I realized that some of the stuff I was holding onto was just out of sheer self-flagellation. I couldn’t even remember what it was. There were a few things that I had to work at a little harder (and still do at times). I have to constantly go back to compassion. Yes, what this person did hurt me. Why? Is it because I am feeling insecure, lonely, frightened, or unloved? Okay, nix it. Is it because this person was acting from a place of insecurity, loneliness, fear or feelings of being unloved? Okay, forgive it. They are doing the very best that they can.

I have a particularly difficult relationship in my life that I have to maintain. Because letting it go is not an option, I have to practice forgiveness on an almost daily basis. Sometimes I can let things go immediately. I remember that he is not trying to hurt me; he is trying to protect himself. At other times, I have to dig down deep, and pull up every ounce of compassion I have. It can reduce me to tears. I have to remember over and over again that I have played a part in this, and that I still do. What I can control is how I react to it. I have to recall that we are each doing the very best that we can at any given moment. When I can do this, I can find forgiveness. And once the forgiveness comes, I can find gratitude. That is the nugget, right there. The most difficult situations and people that I have had in my life have offered me the greatest moments of growth. They have provided me with the seeds that I want to nurture and grow, and they are the reason that I want to reach out and help others. Learning to love and honor myself enabled me to offer others the same that I would want for myself: compassion and forgiveness.

forgiveness

 

My next workshop at Hazard County Yoga outside of Atlanta is Sunday April  28. They sell out quickly so please pre-register and pay by clicking here. See you then.

And So It Is, Contests & Giveaways

Getting It Awesome.

June 8, 2012

There’s no getting it right. There’s just getting it Awesome. ~Me.

Tonight in my gentle yoga class at Equinox in Santa Monica, which, by the way is a Friday night at 7 pm, there were almost all guys. Big strapping mighty tatooed guys.

I felt inspired.

Inspiration happened to be the theme of class so it was perfect!

I love how this class, who some might think of as a wimpy version of yoga, was attracting more men than women. And on a Friday night to boot!

One guy in particular kept looking at me in that I-am-a-beginner kind of way. I went over to him.

Yes, he was a beginner but he also barely spoke English.

So he said he had to look around a lot.

I told him not to worry that I was mostly deaf and had to look around a lot too to figure out what was going on.

How similar we were!

I told them tonight that there was no getting it right.

There was just getting it awesome.

So I am quoting myself.

(It’s my blog. I can.)

This philosophy applies to all my classes but also to life.

If you have any questions about what being awesome means just go in the bathroom. Turn on the light. Look in the mirror.

There. Now that’s awesome.

Tweet me with the hashtag #gettingitawesome for a chance to win a Manifestation tank or t-shirt. 

I am @ManifestYogaJen on Twitter. Click here to send me a tweet from your badass self.

Don’t forgetsign and #gettingitawesome.

Contests & Giveaways, Inspiration

The Inspiration Awards & Anita Moorjani.

May 21, 2012

Hey Dear Manifesters,

My dear friend Anita Moorjani, whom did a q&a back in February on this site, has been nominated for an Inspiration Award! It’s pretty spectacular and the other folks nominated are also amazing. To be in such company! Sigh…..

Here is the link to vote if you feel so inclined.

Even to just peruse who these folks are will give you chills up your spine.

I first met Anita last October when I saw her speak at one of Wayne Dyer’s conferences in Pasadena, California. Her story is truly remarkable and the love she displays is greater than anyone I have ever met.

Picture

Anita  Moorjani

Anita Moorjani was born in Singapore of Indian parents, moved to Hong Kong at the age of two, and has lived in Hong Kong most of her life. Because of her background and British education, she is multi lingual and, from the age of two, grew up speaking English, Cantonese and an Indian dialect simultaneously. She had been working in the corporate field for several years before being diagnosed with cancer in April of 2002. Her fascinating and moving near-death experience in early 2006 has tremendously changed her perspective on life. Her life is now ingrained with the depths and insights she gained while in the other realm.

As a result of her near death experience, Anita is often invited to speak at conferences and events to share her insights. She is also a frequent speaker at universities, particularly for their department of behavioral sciences, speaking on topics such as: dealing with terminal illness; facing death; psychology of spiritual beliefs; etc. She is the embodiment of the truth that we all have the inner power and wisdom to overcome even life’s most adverse situations, as she is the living proof of this possibility.
https://anitamoorjani.com/

Take a moment if you would and vote today.
I am also so excited to say that Anita will be joining me over at Positively Positive! 
Follow Anita on Facebook.
Contests & Giveaways, Daily Manifestation Challenge

Challenge & Giveaway.

May 4, 2012

My latest post is up on Positively Positive.

It is my favorite site, indeed, and I am humbled to be a part of it.

You may recognize the post from my own blog but it was so popular they shared it on Positively Positive.

Here is the link https://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/05/04/challenge-what-can-you-re-commit-to-in-your-own-life/

Here is the challenge: Click on link and leave a comment on actual article. I will pick 3 comments that touch me and send each of you a Manifestation t-shirt and bracelet or give you a spot at my next Manifestation Workshop in your city.

I think it is important that we remember that every day, in fact every single breath, we have the choice to re-commit and re-fall in love.

Please leave comment on actual Positively Positive post and not here.

I am re-commiting to being my best self and my most authentic and honest self.

https://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/05/04/challenge-what-can-you-re-commit-to-in-your-own-life/

 

click on pic to read post and leave your comment.

Contests & Giveaways

What You Think About Men Is What You Man-Fest.

April 1, 2012

How I love Karen Salmansohn (you may know her as NotSalmon)

She came up with that line. Clever thing, she is.

What You Think About Men Is What You Man-Fest.

After my whole debacle with my Manifestation bracelets saying Man-fest instead, Karen, Frank Gjata and I decided that it was a happy accident.

So here it is.

Man-festing. 

 

Let’s celebrate all the wonderful men in our world! I want to hear from you below about some of the incredible men in your life! Please share either their name with a lot of “xoxoxo’s” next to their name – or share a little description about why they are the rock in your world – or have rocked your world.

 

AND….if you’re a single woman – and you want to be in a happy relationship – it’s especially important you let go of your anger at any men/man from your past – and celebrate men! If you’re holding onto anger at men as a category – you will have trouble being in a happy, loving relationship with a man as an individual – for oh so many reasons! Indeed, in my book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME I strongly encourage women to let go of their resentment for their ex! Some of this is because: Just as there is alluring sexual attraction (which people can feel but not see), there’s also angry energy repulsion (which people can feel but not see). If you think angry thoughts about men and love, then you will be emitting an angry vibration which can be intuitively felt by others—as if you’re giving off an anti-charisma. (For more on this topic, check out the FREEBIE excerpt from PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME by clicking here now…

https://notsalmon.com/2011/09/21/the-law-of-attraction-really-begins-with-the-law-of-subtraction/

 

With all this in mind – and because men deserve our appreciation for a range of terrific reasons – Karen Salmansohn, Conscious Ink (Frank Gjata) and I will be doing a series of posts which celebrate men for the wonderful beings they are – with some fun giveaways! Stay tuned.

Leave your comment in the box below or on Karen or my Facebook pages!

 

Contests & Giveaways, Daily Manifestation Challenge, Inspiration

Your 3 Words. The Daily Manifestation Challenge.

October 27, 2011

Today’s DMC is a fun one.

What are the 3 words that inspire you most today?

I challenge you to keep these words with you all day and fill yourself up with them.

In the comment section below list your 3 words. You must list it in the comment section below to be added into the contest to win a spot at the “Manifesting Your Top 1% Workshop” with author Alissa Finerman and myself November 19th.

(I loooooove contests.)

If you are so inspired, for “extra credit”, write a poem below with your 3 words included. You will not be graded, judged or tested on the poem. You will only be Loved.

I ask not that you concern yourself with if the poem is “good” or not. I am simply challenging you to envelop yourself in your words and allow yourself to be creative. You know that old adage: If only the best birds sang in the forrest, it would be an awfully quiet place? (Or something like that.)

My 3 words of the day are: compassion, inspiration, creativity.

 

Notice how every cell in your body becomes infused with these words and how doors start to open where once there were just walls. Eat your words! Breathe your words! Live your words. Your words become your world.

Or something like that.

What are your 3 words to live by today?