Guest Posts, Marriage, Relationships

10 Tips For Staying Married Forever.

September 30, 2014

By Jeanne Faulkner.

beauty-hunting-jen-logo-black

Jen Pastiloff is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Join her in Tuscany for her annual Manifestation Retreat. Click the Tuscan hills above. No yoga experience required. Only requirement: Just be a human being.

Jen Pastiloff is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Join her in Tuscany for her annual Manifestation Retreat. Click the Tuscan hills above. No yoga experience required. Only requirement: Just be a human being.

 

My husband and I just celebrated our 32nd anniversary.

We got married way too young and the odds were probably stacked against us and yet, here we are so many years later and we’re still together. What’s the key to our longevity? We’re happy together, we like each other’s company and we’re still genuinely in love. That accounts for most of why we’ve been able to stick it out while other couples can’t. We have other keys though and here are ten of them:

  1. When you’re thinking about getting married, pick someone you absolutely adore. It sets a good baseline for those times when you get on each other’s nerves.
  2. Make sure he/she has a sense of humor – you’re going to need it. If that sense of humor is similar to yours, you’ll have a lot of fun together.
  3. Don’t consider your spouse a fixer-upper. The person he/she is on the day you marry is the same person he’ll be 30, 40, or 50-odd years later. His habits, body, career, friends, interests and goals might change, but the person he is deep inside will remain the same. If you don’t think he’s fabulous as-is, don’t get married.
  4. Expect your marriage to be a nice long road trip with smooth stretches and unpaved areas, hills, curves, valleys, ditches and quite a few speed-bumps and potholes. Every now and again you might need to fix the engine and find a good mechanic, but don’t forget to stop at the viewpoints, enjoy the scenery, pack good snacks and take a lot of pictures.
  5. Be nicer and more compassionate to each other than to anyone else.
  6. If you have children, don’t make them the total focus of your marriage. They’re important and distracting and they’ll require a lot of your attention, but they’ll only be with you for about 20 years. Your spouse will be with you for life.
  7. Communication is important, but it doesn’t always have to be verbal and you don’t absolutely have to talk about every little thing that comes up. Leave room for silence.
  8. Have your own interests, activities, friends and career. Share liberally with your spouse but don’t expect him/her to be your everything.
  9. Each spouse should work and contribute money to the household. It’s one of the best ways to support each other. Plus, if each partner is a wage owner, the balance of give and take and power and responsibility in the relationship is more equal.
  10. Don’t get divorced. Plain and simple.

 

securedownload-3
Jeanne Faulkner is a nurse, writer and maternal health advocate. She writes for fitpregnancy.com, Every Mother Counts and is co-author of The Complete Illustrated Birthing Companion. Learn more about her at JeanneFaulkner.com and check out her YouTube channel here.

All of Jen Pastiloff’s events listed here. Next up: Dallas, Miami, Vancouver. Please send an email to info@jenniferpastiloff.com if you want to be come to her annual Tuscany retreat.

 

Jennifer Pastiloff is part of the faculty this year at Other Voices Querétaro in Mexico with Gina Frangello, Emily Rapp, Stacy Berlein, and Rob Roberge. Please email Gina Frangello to be accepted at gfrangello@ameritech.net. Click poster for info or to book. Space is very limited.

Jennifer Pastiloff is part of the faculty this year at Other Voices Querétaro in Mexico with Gina Frangello, Emily Rapp, Stacy Berlein, and Rob Roberge. Please email Gina Frangello to be accepted at gfrangello@ameritech.net. Click poster for info or to book. Space is very limited.

click to order Simplereminders new book.

click to order Simplereminders new book.

You Might Also Like

5 Comments

  • Reply Jennifer Pastiloff September 30, 2014 at 11:10 am
    • Reply Lisa brand January 6, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      Boy do I feel a deep internal longing to speak with Jeanne on my situation and see what advice she would give me. I’m in turmoil over here.

  • Reply kate October 2, 2014 at 8:37 am

    Love this list! Especially the line…”Be nicer and more compassionate to each other than to anyone else.” So very true! I’m always shocked when people treat their partner the worst sometimes. Thanks for the inspiration!

  • Reply Debbie October 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    I loved the positive, marriage-affirming piece. The only point I’m not fully on board with is the one about both spouses working. To me, raising children is the most important work and by emphasizing financial contribution in this point, it devalues the contribution to the marriage of child-rearing. Of course, once the kids are in school or have moved out, that’s another story. The last item is great: “Don’t get divorced. Plain and simple.”

  • Reply OBC Day 15: Link love | Gumdrops and sunshine. October 15, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    […] love these relationship […]

  • Leave a Reply