Girl Power: You Are Enough, Guest Posts, Jen Pastiloff, Jen's Musings

You’re Enough. Don’t Be An Asshole & Go Forgetting That.

August 16, 2015

By Jen Pastiloff

As you know if you follow me on social media or come to my workshops etc, I am very passionate about my latest project: Girl Power: You Are Enough. And yes, the book is on the way. Stay tuned for more on that front.

By the way, hi. It’s been a while. I’ve been busy. I’ve been in a funk. I haven’t been writing. I’ve been this, that, the other thing, what does it matter- when I am not writing or creating I am dead inside, and I am tired of feeling dead inside so here I am. Hi.

I am ready to be back. I just finished my friend Rene Denfeld’s book The Enchanted and it is one of the best books I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SO I MUST SCREAM. Read it now.

 

I was inspired after reading The Enchanted so I: a) fell as asleep with a highlighter on my bed and ruined my sheets even as I said, “Jen, don’t fall asleep with a highlighter open because you will ruin your sheets. b) Dreamt of creating and enchantment. c) woke up and ate some weird salad because I am on a cleanse, not like you care but hey, my blog, my rules and this is my 8th day with no coffee or booze. Yay, me! This is big for me as someone who exists in extremes and knows no moderation. d) Decided to write to you. Are you there? Hi.

So, my latest project is basically my workshop I do but specifically designed for young women. To remind them that they are enough and that they do have a voice. (Same goes for all of us. Duh.) It is an empowerment workshop. It is a workshop about embracing fear and letting go of what “they” think, and basically, remembering that you are a motherf*cking superstar. (We all are. Unless you are an asshole. Don’t be an asshole* see footnote.) It launches next month in Princeton on September 19 (must be at least 13) followed by NYC the next day on September 20th (must be 16 for that one due to studio policy.) There will be some yoga (no experience required, just as in my regular workshops.) I use the yoga as a vehicle to get the participants more open and vulnerable. To release their armor, as it were. You have to bring a journal and an open heart and a sense of humor (as always.) And your badass self. So, if you have any daughters or your friends do, or neighbors, or you yourself, please sign up. If you cannot afford it, I have a few tickets to give away from beautiful women who have sponsored you to go. Lara Heimann will co-lead the workshop with me and my first ambassador, Justine Clifton will give a little chat. This is my passion right now and I am here on my bed, on a hot summer day, begging you, wait, let me get on my knees, I AM ON MY KNEES, begging you to help me with this on all fronts. This work is important.

highlighted sheets.

highlighted sheets.

Justine Clifton

Justine Clifton

 

Book Girl Power: You Are Enough now! A workshop for girls and teens. Space is limited. Sep 19 Princeton! Sep 20th NYC. The book is also forthcoming from Jen Pastiloff.

Book Girl Power: You Are Enough now! A workshop for girls and teens. Space is limited. Sep 19 Princeton! Sep 20th NYC. The book is also forthcoming from Jen Pastiloff.

Here are all ( well, not all, but a helluva lot) of the reasons I have thought I was NOT enough. All the bullshit no good terrible stinky reasons I’ve convinced myself I wasn’t enough because of:I’m short

  1. -I am a college dropout – I suffer from depression and anxiety since um, birth.
  2. -I take anti-depressants -I have s pooch on my belly and always will -I have grey hair and crows feet and freckles and imperfect skin
  3. – I’m whiter than you can imagine and never tan, only burn.
  4. – I don’t have kids
  5. -I don’t know if I want kids
  6. – I’m disorganized and never remember anything and double book and suck at replying to emails and texts
  7. – I’m deaf as hell. Really. Like I can’t hear. I read lips. I hear a teeny tiny bit but it’s muffled. I ask “huh?” And “what?” 67 times an hour.
  8. -I’m not smart enough
  9. -I’m not well read enough
  10. – I haven’t published a book
  11. -I can’t define what I do in the world. I have no idea what to call myself –
  12. I have thick thighs
  13. – I never “got over” my dad dying.
  14. -I’m a slob
  15. – I didn’t know what I was doing in life (and most likely still don’t) until I was 35
  16. -I live in a small one bedroom apartment
  17. -I can’t do a handstand in the middle of the room and I’m a yoga teacher
  18. -I curse to much. -bla fucking bla.

After you watch the video, I would love to hear your thoughts below on what you use as distractions in your life and if you feel like you are enough.

The list is endless. We can always find reasons to not be good enough. Especially as women.

Constant scrutiny. Pressure. Comparison.
I am enough. So, I can’t hear? So, I take meds? So I don’t have a degree? So, I can grab my belly fat and make it talk? So? I am enough. So are you. I’ve spent my life battling this belief. Fighting with it. I’m done fighting. I’m accepting the truth in it.

Will you?

Please share this blog with a girl you want to attend this workshop (or her mom as many of you are not teens- except in our hearts!) Please help me spread the word about this empowering and life-changing workshop. Help me make this workshop a reality.

You are enough… No matter what! You hear that? No. Matter. What. Who’s with me? Post your thoughts below. Let’s make #girlpoweryouareenough a thing in the world. Alive. With a beating heart and a sense of urgency. Because this is urgent. The time is now.

Also, I have raised money (thanks to you guys) to fly Justine Clifton to NYC to stay with me and speak at the workshops. I am looking for a note to donate 2 (or at least one) night to us on Sep 18/19. We will document the whole thing via blogging and video and snapchat (@jenpastiloff) and social media. It will be a fantastic opportunity for us and the hotel. If you know of someone or want to help, please email me at jennifer@jenniferpastiloff with Girl Power in subject. I wish I had had this workshop when I was younger. Truly. This is important.

I led a workshop in Atlanta last weekend (I really do live on a plane) and a teen, Serena, wrote me this note after.

IMG_6197

 

This is what I want for all of us: “I love me now, more than ever.”

 

Watch this video of Justine. She inspires me to no end. What a champ.

Another teen from last year. You can see why I want to do this, right? You with me? I am on my knees here.

 

Footnote: *To be human is to be an asshole, at least once. We are all assholes at times. Please take note. You are a real asshole if you think, “I have never been an asshole.”

 

Ring in New Years 2016 with Jen Pastiloff at her annual Ojai retreat. It's magic! It sells out quickly so book early. No yoga experience required. Just be a human being. With a sense of humor. Email barbara@jenniferpastiloff.com with questions or click photo to book. NO yoga experience needed. Just be a human being.

Ring in New Years 2016 with Jen Pastiloff at her annual Ojai retreat. It’s magic! It sells out quickly so book early. No yoga experience required. Just be a human being. With a sense of humor. Email barbara@jenniferpastiloff.com with questions or click photo to book. NO yoga experience needed. Just be a human being.

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply Michelle August 16, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Brilliant. Completely fucking awesome and brilliant. I’m a fan of your work and have been to you London workshop, and we’ll, I just think you’re brilliant. We SO need to spread this message to teens, now more than ever!! xx

    • Reply Michelle August 16, 2015 at 10:57 pm

      Ugh, and also, I shouldn’t write at 6:57 am because my eyes are too blury to spell correctly. You know what I meant. 😉

  • Reply Heather McKearnan August 21, 2015 at 9:15 am

    You rock my world. I love what you are up to.

  • Reply Niki August 22, 2015 at 8:18 am

    Sorry in advance for the long comment! I started following your instagram account and this message caught my attention. Here is why. I had an alcoholic father. He would not stop for me, therefore, I was not enough. I went to a school where I was a number and always told I was not enough. Aged 20 my brother walked out of my life and I never heard from him again. Clearly I wasn’t enough. I married, had kids (one special needs), gave up the career I loved….and guess what…. 27 years later I find myself married to another alcoholic. I can honestly say I put 120% into that marriage. Along with alcohol there are always always other women. I asked him to stop….but he would not. Clearly I was not enough. So I left. I left the comfort of two homes and financial security. I find myself aged 51 starting my life over not knowing the how of it all. Here is why…because I am finally learning that I am enough….for myself. I am a photographer, writer and yoga teacher. None of which pay particularly well but that’s okay. I have never been happier. I have finally learnt to be enough by being enough for myself. I don’t need to be enough for anyone else. The one thing I have always had is a deep internal happiness. Got my through all those 51 years. I don’t seek anything external to make me happy. Funny I could be so happy and yet still never feel like I was enough. I so so want to pass this message on to other women. I want them to know they are not stuck…they never need to be stuck….because they are enough. We are all enough!!

  • Reply Yvon December 14, 2015 at 6:44 am

    Hi back!
    I just saw a post on Cheryl Strayed’s Facebook page where she linked to this blog. Intrigued, I popped over to take a look and I love, love LOVE this!!!!
    If I had one message to share with the world it would be that we are all enough. We are all worthy. And that the best way to serve the world is to start by loving yourself. I am in the proces of starting a blog about this and I am over-the-moon excited.

    I LOVE the Girl Power program! What a gift to the world to empower young girls and teach them they are enough. It would serve many adults too by the way (including me), but it serves young girls in a BIG way. I can only imagine how deep an impact you could make with this. Thank you for all that you do. I believe BIG things are going to happen as a result of this program.

    • Reply Yvon December 14, 2015 at 6:48 am

      What a beautiful response Nikki. Thank you for sharing your story. You inspired me.

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