Why the Street Assault Video May Need Narration for Men.

December 28, 2014

By Amy McElroy.

A recent video made by the non-profit, Hollaback, https://www.cnn.com/2014/10/28/living/hollaback-10-hours-walking-in-nyc/index.html, made its rounds on the internet showing a woman walking for ten hours down NY streets. With each of the one hundred street assaults she received, another of my hairs stood on end. Even though she was a black belt in martial arts. Even though she had a hidden camera person with her the entire time. Because when I walk the streets “alone,” I am truly a woman alone. But what I started wondering next, during all those catcalls and taunts, was what other men watching the same video were thinking.

The men in the video acted offensively, no doubt, and their words assaulted the actress on an emotional and psychological level. But to me, they were more than that, they were threatening.

Did men see that?

Inspiration, Q & A Series

Amy Dixon: Queen of Fitness. The Manifestation Q&A Series.

January 3, 2012

Hello again from London!

Welcome to The Manifestation Q&A Series.

I am Jennifer Pastiloff and this series is designed to introduce the world to someone I find incredible. Someone who is manifesting their dreams on a daily basis.

Today’s guest is the “Queen of Fitness” otherwise known as Amy Dixon, or Mommy to her kids. Amy happens to be one of my best friends as well as one of the people who gave me my first shot at teaching yoga. She took a risk on me because she believed in me, and that, Dear Manifesters, is the type of person I choose to surround myself with. Someone who takes risks, who follows their gut and who is not a cookie cutter of everyone else. Enter Amy Dixon.

The Queen of Fitness: Amy Dixon.

I love so many things about Amy, but the first is her dedication to her family and, by extension, her friends who have become her family. To watch Amy with her husband and children truly is an inspiration. I am fascinated by strong women who seemingly balance career and family like they were born to do it with a smile and with grace.

Anyone who takes Amy’s classes or does her dvds knows that she takes that same dedication and commitment she has for her family and brings it to her classes/students. She is a coach, an inspirational leader and someone who lives their joy.

As far as fitness goes, I don’t do much these days except yoga and Amy’s classes. This is because I forget when I am in an “Amy class” that I am actually exercising. A dear friend of both Amy and I named Emily Rapp, once said of Amy and my own classes “You both create an experience rather than a class.”

The experience of Amy Dixon. That is what I am after today. Read and enjoy this interview by one of the most beautiful, powerful and talented people I know.

Amy and I a couple years ago.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What are you most proud to have manifested in your life?

Amy Dixon: The joy and love that I feel with my husband and children.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What is the greatest lesson that you have learned from your daughters?

Amy Dixon: Bella teaches me everyday how to show my sensitive side and to sing out loud with confidence. Ava shows me everyday how to be independent and fierce beyond words.

Jennifer Pastiloff: How do you balance being a mom and being a ‘Queen of Fitness’, as many call you?

Amy Dixon: Balance is a funny term to me because I truly never feel balanced unless I am home for the holidays with my family just relaxing. And the truth is that everyone, young to old feels unbalanced from time to time. I believe that “balance” is having awareness that life just isn’t balanced and using that information as a tool to help me tip the scales back in the direction of where I need to re-focus my energy. If the scale tips to deeply towards my career, it helps me be mindful to tip it right back towards my husband or my children.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I have a list of rules. See below. What would some of Amy Dixon’s rules be?

Amy Dixon: 1) Love and have compassion for others.

2) Never take yourself too seriously.

3) Laugh as often and and loud as you can.

4) Spend real time with your loved ones.

5) Be free of hate and judgement.

6) Don’t be afraid to speak your mind even if you think it might be hard. Be REAL.

7) Exercise your body often and don’t be afraid to push yourself.

8) Don’t ever believe that anyone owes you anything.

9) Earn it…work hard for it.

10) Be confident, strong and kind.

11) ATTITUDE is everything.

Jennifer Pastiloff: Who/what inspires you the most?

Amy Dixon: People that face adversities every single day that are free of blame and full of love.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I teach many of my classes to the theme of gratitude. If you could say thank you right now to one person who would it be?

Amy Dixon: My husband Jeff. He is truly one of the greatest people that I know. He supports me in everything that I do…he is the Wizard. (Note from Jen: Jeff is indeed the Wizard. I know him well.)

This picture explains why I love the Dixons so much. And the guy with the beard? The "Wizard" himself.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I have taken your classes and done your videos and I am inspired by your “Can do ” attitude. Your positivity is infectious. Your messages have gotten me through many times I wanted to quit, whether on the bike or in real life. What is one message you would pass on right now to someone looking to manifest their best selves, both physically and mentally?

Amy Dixon: I am a firm believer that change requires change. If you want to do what you have always done, then be prepared to stay exactly the same. If you want to test your limits and truly make a change you have to be willing to get uncomfortable…maybe even breathless. It’s scary but totally worth it.

Jennifer Pastiloff: SuperFitBod. Tell us a little about that, and about how you have taken that idea way beyond simply the body.

Amy Dixon: SuperFitBod is a class that I developed over the years that incorporates strength training and cardio all rolled into one package. My motto and belief is that so many women are afraid to lift heavy weights or work out hard in fear that they will get “BIG” or look “HEAVY” and that just isn’t the case. I wanted to prove to women that being FIT is what exercise is about…it’s not about being skinny. I can tell you that people that do my workout DVDS and that are in my classes are ridiculously fit and lean. I think that every single person at some point in their life struggles with their body image and I want above all else for everyone to feel good about living in their own skin and know what it feels like to have a SuperFitBod.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What brings you the most joy? Your joy list, as it were.

Amy Dixon:

1) Spending time with my family.

2) Exercise of all kinds.

3) Listening to music.

4) Enjoying amazing food and wine.

5) Exploring the great outdoors. I LOVE the mountains.

6) Laughing.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What can we expect Amy Dixon to manifest in 2012.

Amy Dixon:

1) Spend more time with my husband and children.

2) Learn how to cook or at least try. 🙂

3) Create and produce two new DVDS

4) Create an Amy Dixon App

5) Write a book

6) Help Fitness Glo hit its groove

7) Work for a major health and lifestyle magazine as a contributor

8) Take at least ONE yoga class per week.

9) Go running ONCE per week.

10) Ride my bike outdoors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jen Pastiloff’s rules:

1. Be Kind.

2. Have a sense of humor especially when it comes to yourself

3. Write poems, even if only in your head

4. Sing out loud, even if badly

5. Dance

6. If you don’t have anything nice to say… you know the deal

7. Find things to be in awe of

8. Be grateful for what you have right now . yes, even your little one bedroom apartment with the ugly carpet

9. Watch Modern Family

10. Duh, do yoga

11. Don’t worry. Everyone on Facebook seems like they have happier and funner lives. They don’t.

12. Tell someone you love that you love them. Right now.

13.. Take more pictures.

14. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. no such thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amy Dixon is one of the most dynamic fitness instructors and Master Trainers in the industry today. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree in exercise physiology as well as many other fitness certifications. Amy is a contributing fitness expert for many major Lifestyle magazines, a master trainer for Schwinn, BOSU, and GRAVITY and stars in many critically acclaimed fitness DVD’s. She is a former World competitive power tumbler and coach and uses that experience everyday in her classes. With over 15 years of teaching experience, she is best known for her energy and enthusiasm for fitness. Her energy is contagious.

She delivers a fun, performance based class and works hard to educate and motivate her students to achieve extraordinary results. She has also been a part of the Nike Rockstar Fitness Academy in Los Angeles. Her talents have been featured on The Today Show, ABC News, Exercise TV, Your LA, Fox News, and MTV. Her classes and insights have been reported in Women’s Health Magazine, Self Magazine, Shape Magazine, Variety Magazine, In Touch, the Washington Post and the Los Angeles Times. Amy is the Group Fitness Manager for Equinox in Santa Monica.

Q & A Series

Amy Jo Johnson: Actress Extraordinaire. The Manifestation Q&A Series.

March 23, 2012

Welcome to The Manifestation Q&A Series.

I am Jennifer Pastiloff and this series is designed to introduce the world to someone I find incredible. Someone who is manifesting their dreams on a daily basis.

I am so excited by today’s guest. Amy Jo Johnson is one of the most talented people I have ever met and I am lucky to call her family. Yes, she is a friend, but I consider her part of my soul family. She was with me at my last and most profound yoga retreat to Mexico where we all bonded so much we felt that we actually had become family. Then, one of our group, the beloved comedian Steve Bridges, suddenly passed away a few weeks ago in his sleep. It made our time in Mexico, which was already so precious, that much more divine.

Some of you may recall her from the tv show Felicity or maybe even the Power Rangers (yes, she was “The Pink One.”) I just know her as Amy Jo, the incredibly gifted human being. She is kind, funny, and, can sing so well that tears will form at the corners of your eyes. You know: the happy tears. The “that is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard” kind of tears. She is spunky and sassy and does a mean handstand in my yoga class. She is free-spirited and witty, poignant and present and fully capable of catching herself as she falls backwards down the stairs. (Apparently this happened in Mexico. She backflipped and landed on her feet.) She doesn’t take anything for granted, loves a good joke and even a corny one ( like the ones I tell.) She writes beautifully and has a vision for her life that inspires me to no end.

(I want to be her when I grow up.)

Family is important to her in the way it is important to me and I believe that is one of the things that initially made me love her.

She is an actress by trade but does not live her life as if that is the only thing that matters. Nor does it define her.

One of the most fierce and unique people I know and I am humbled that she is here today. Amy Jo is creative in the true sense of the word; an artist through and through.

She’s connected to something else, something bigger than herself. I do not know what it is, nor do I attempt to, but I do know that we are blessed to get a little slice of this goddess.

She says the words she lives by are: “Be Bold and Be Kind”. As someone who knows her well, I can say that this is not heresay. This is fact. Through and through.

I look forward to teaching my Manifestation Workshop in Toronto when I go to visit her. So stay tuned all you Canadians. I’m on my way!

In the meantime, here is my dear friend and soul sister, the amazingly talented and fiery Amy Jo Johnson.… Amy, I love you.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What are you most proud to have manifested in your life?

Amy Jo Johnson: About six years ago I drastically changed everything. I packed up my life and left Los Angeles. I hit the road to “find out”. I was about 35 years old and desperately needed to manifest happiness. I became a gypsy for a few months before ending up in Montreal where I finally sorted through some of the monsters in my head. I needed a break. I needed to just stop and let go. What I discovered beneath all my fear was that I never really knew who I was. What I wanted. So, after a two-year sabbatical and a new lease on life I found my husband, got pregnant, and landed the best job of my career pretty much all at the same time.

We now live in Ontario, which I LOVE! And I’m in the middle of filming the fifth season of the TV show I had landed. I feel so blessed with the life I’ve created. But I know that none of it would have happened if I didn’t have the courage to shake things up six years before. I believe we must live BOLDLY if we want to manifest our dreams.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What’s the greatest lesson that you have learned from being an actress?

Amy Jo Johnson: Kindness… Truly… This is my greatest lesson. A lesson I am faced with every day. I’ve spent so many years worried about who I am and how I’m doing and how I’m going to benefit. I am so sick of myself it’s ridiculous. Since I’ve discovered this new way of life. Simply being kind. I’m so much happier!! And I find things are so much funnier. Truly, it’s all kinda funny.

Jennifer Pastiloff: From being a mom?

Amy Jo Johnson: Oh, Francesca teaches me something new EVERYDAY… This little person who happens to be my daughter is such a gift. I find her trying to take care of me a lot. Every now and then I have to remind us that I am the mother. But boy oh boy she is the teacher.

Jennifer Pastiloff: From losing your own mother?

Amy Jo Johnson: The lessons I’ve learned from my mother’s death are ever changing and never ending. Recently I’ve deeply realized that most of our actions are usually because of where we come from, the life we were handed. So, acceptance and understanding of others is becoming clearer to me.

Jennifer Pastiloff: If you were not acting what would you be doing?

Amy Jo Johnson: Whatever it is that I would be doing is something I love. I know that for sure. I’m not one to suffer for very long.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What do you see yourself doing in 10 years time?

Amy Jo Johnson: Traveling the world with my family! And directing films that I’ve written, hopefully inspiring and helping others though them.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What do you love most about being a mother?

Amy Jo Johnson: Being a mother constantly pulls my focus from myself and into a more nurturing state. I love that!! I need that.

Jennifer Pastiloff: Who has been your greatest teacher?

Amy Jo Johnson: I’ve had so many awesome teachers in my life from my mother to the amazing Jana Saunders. But recently there have been two that profoundly affected me on a level I’ve never felt. First, my husband Olivier, he’s taught me how to be loved and in return I am now better at loving. I am so thankful for this man in my life. And second, YOU! Jennifer Pastiloff. This insight to kindness is something I really have learned to understand through you. You teach me so much. It’s something I’ve never felt before, the balance of kindness, humor and honesty. It’s how I strive to live my life until I die. Thanks chickie…

Jennifer Pastiloff: A little birdie told me you were writing a movie……

Amy Jo Johnson: I am working on creating a film about my mother’s life. Her journey inspires me in so many ways! I’m excited to share it with the world and hopefully help people who have gone through similar struggles.

Jennifer Pastiloff: Can you share with us a bit about your music?

Amy Jo Johnson: Writing and playing music comes in waves for me. Like everything creative I do. It’s all a cathartic playground. At the moment my sights are so set on developing this film that music has taken a back seat. But it’s there and always will be when the moment strikes. I try not to force it.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsrsPFzFc-4&feature=related]

Jennifer Pastiloff: Who/what inspires you the most?

Amy Jo Johnson: Honestly, moments when I feel most connected to people. I’ve always had a hard time getting close. I can be a very guarded person. These moments used to happen so infrequently. And when they finally did I would eat them up and savor them like it was the last. Now I strive for it daily. I look for it in people. A lot of times in people I never would have imagined it with. As I ease the insecurities in myself I’m finding it easier to look past those in others. Wouldn’t it be a magnificent world if we could all see past our fears?

I realized the other day that when you first meet someone you usually meet their insecurities. First impressions are usually not who someone really is. So, my biggest meditation and practice is to take a deep breath when bombarded with someone’s walls and compassionately look through them. And remarkably enough on the other side is usually a really cool person. Innately I believe we are all good.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I teach many of my classes to the theme of gratitude. If you could say thank you right now to one person who would it be?

Amy Jo Johnson: Thank you, Olivier Giner, for living the good life with me.

Amy Jo and her husband Olivier at my last yoga retreat in Mexico. Feb 2012.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What are some words you live by?

Amy Jo Johnson: BE BOLD! And kind. At the end of my life I want to look back and say “Holy CRAP! That was an interesting ride.”

(note from Jen: I Love this. It reminds me of on of my favorite Mary Oliver poems When Death Comes where the last line says:

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.)

Jennifer Pastiloff: You were with me in Mexico on my last and most powerful retreat. We dubbed ourselves the “Fab 13”. On Saturday, we lost our brother Steve Bridges, one of our 13. Is there anything that Steve or his passing has taught you?

Amy Jo Johnson: I am so grateful for that trip to Mexico. It was one of the most healing experiences I’ve ever had. Olivier and I have a code word between us now. If we forget how precious life is and find our selves stuck in our own way we say this word. The word means LOVE and it’s Steve.

Amy Jo painted this and 1 year later met Olivier.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What is one message you would pass on right now to someone looking to manifest their best selves?

Amy Jo Johnson: BE BOLD!!!! And kind.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What brings you the most joy? Your joy list….

Amy Jo Johnson: Francesca’s laugh! Watching a good TV series with Olivier while he rubs my feet. Drinking wine with good friends and chit chatting about life. Writing my script in a coffee shop for hours and hours. Laughing until I almost pee my pants, which usually happens once a day at my work. Auntie Jewdgie! The sunshine, a rainy day, a good snowstorm. Using the loud leaf blower in my yard. Kick boxing! A good yoga class, especially a Jennifer Pastiloff magical session. GOD, peace and so much more…

Jennifer Pastiloff: What are you manifesting in 2012?

Amy Jo Johnson: Making my movie!!!! Hell yeah!

(note from Jen: Hell yeah, I second that!)

Jennifer Pastiloff: Where can we find more of Amy Jo Johnson?

Amy Jo Johnson: The TV series FLASHPOINT, which is on ION or CTV, I also have a website for my music amyjojohnson.com and I sometimes tweet @_amyjojohnson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jennifer Pastiloff will be teaching at the Tadasana International Yoga & Music Festival over Earth Day weekend on the beach in Santa Monica, CA, April 20– 22. Click here to check out the festival website and purchase tickets. Enter the code Pastiloff for a $50 discount! (Please note that discount codes expire April 1.)

Amy and I at my last yoga retreat in Mexico.

Jen’s “rules”:

1. Be Kind.

2. Have a sense of humor especially when it comes to yourself

3. Write poems, even if only in your head

4. Sing out loud, even if badly

5. Dance

6. If you don’t have anything nice to say… you know the deal

7. Find things to be in awe of

8. Be grateful for what you have right now .

9. Watch Modern Family, read Wayne Dyer, and end every complaint with “But I’m so blessed!”

10. Duh, do yoga

11. Don’t worry. Everyone on Facebook seems like they have happier and funner lives. They don’t.

12. Tell someone you love that you love them. Right now.

13.. Take more pictures.

14. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. No such thing.

15. Thank the Universe in advance.

Guest Posts, No Bullshit Motherhood

One Morning With Amy

December 8, 2019

By Susan McGee Bailey

For years, mornings with my daughter, Amy, began with shouting.

“Don’t you dare come in here, Mom!”

“Mom, I need you!”

“Mother! Where are you?”

Most mornings a familiar uneasiness in my stomach had already pulled me awake. My body learned long ago to hear Amy’s cries before any sound registered consciously. Since her birth more than forty years ago, she has survived complicated surgeries, spent endless months in rehab centers, and endured painful therapies. Her father and I made different choices when she was young. We divorced. I made a life with Amy on my own. I long for answers, for solutions to the difficulties my child confronts. But as is the case for most people with developmental and physical challenges, there is no single diagnosis. There is no silver bullet that can address all my daughter’s medical, emotional, and intellectual needs.

Years ago Amy moved from home to a more independent living situation in a group house, then home again when the anxiety of rotating staff became too overwhelming. We tried other group situations with similar results. Now she lives in a shared living situation with a young couple. Together we celebrate each new aspect of her independence: carrying her own house key, presenting her CVS gift card to the clerk, laying out her clothes for the next day. But I still jump up in the dark, half out of bed before remembering the sounds that awakened me are no more than the rustle of a birch branch or a breeze stirring the porch rocker. Some nights I fall back on the mattress and sleep. Other nights, I’ve fallen too far awake. Amy is not here. The house is empty and silent. A passing car breaks the stillness, a dog barks in response—daytime sounds out of place in the lonely night. I rock on the porch, hug my knees, and try to banish images of Amy calling for me.

One memorable weekday morning when Amy was in her late twenties, her voice was unusually loud. “Mother, I need help! Now! Right now!”

“I … am… coming…Amy. I…am…here!” I hoped my voice was both audible and calm. Without her hearing aids, Amy hears only loud voices, words spoken a beat slower than normal.

Amy’s bowel problems, the ones that first developed when she was fifteen, had been worsening for several years. The many surgeries designed to help, instead weakened the muscles in her rectum. Controlling her bowels required constant vigilance to avoid daytime accidents. This success consumed her energy, increased her severe constipation, and worsened the nighttime situation. Four or five mornings a week she woke up with her body, her bed, often her walls, a smelly, smeared mess.

That morning I was glad it was winter. Every window was shut. Her agonized sobs, angry words, and slamming of doors would not disturb the neighbors. I would open the windows in her room and the bathroom before we left for her day program, never mind what it would do to the heating bill. The new deodorizer I’d paid twenty dollars for barely made a dent in the stench.

Once Amy was showered, shampooed, dressed, medications taken, bedroom and bathroom clean, her bedding in the washing machine, it often required the bribe of a store breakfast to get her out the door. By the time we’d reached the car that morning I was exhausted and close to tears. How would I make it through the workday?

The meeting of the project directors’ group at the feminist research center I directed hovered uneasily in my head. I needed time to think, to go over my planned remarks, but at this rate everyone would be assembled and waiting before I arrived. They would understand. Many had children. Those who didn’t were equally committed to a work environment that provided space for children, for families, for emergencies. Still, I didn’t want to take advantage of my position. The mornings when things went smoothly with Amy were fewer and fewer. She was not improving. New rounds of medical appointments would need to be scheduled.

I took a deep breath and started the car, trying to focus on the moment, not my meeting or Amy’s medical problems. “Where should we go for breakfast this morning, Amy?”

“I don’t care, I hate you! You are an ugly, stinky mother! I hate stinky!”

“It’s okay, Amy. What about Vidalia’s?”

“No, I say the Coffee Mug!”

The Coffee Mug was actually named The Clever Monk, but Amy’s hearing loss makes fine distinctions difficult. She often misunderstands words she does not know or has not heard before. She has always insisted the little shop was The Coffee Mug. When a couple of attempts to correct her resulted in angry shouts of “No, you are not right! I am right!” I surrendered to her certainty.

Two men on a ladder were putting up a new sign with the name “The Clever Monk” in large gold letters as we arrived. Amy was distracted from her anger, her blueberry eyes intent on this new activity. She rarely failed to embrace the excitement of the unexpected.

“Mother, look. They don’t know how to spell Coffee Mug! It should be C-O-F- E-E space M-U-G, right? They have C-L-E-V-E-R space M-O-N-K! That is silly! Can I tell them?”

My hopelessness faded. I was struck by her self-confidence, her persistence. Her designation was a more accurate description. Should I try to explain again that her version of the name was wrong? Should I use this opportunity to correct her spelling of coffee? I did neither. She was happy and had regained a sense of control, why spoil it?

“Amy, let’s just get some breakfast. You don’t like me to correct you….”

“Okay, Mom, I love you so much!”

She ran into the shop, her bad leg trailing a bit, her blond hair all higgily-piggily and still uncombed—my energy had failed at that final morning step. Her smile was broad, confident. “Besides, Mom, the sign looks really good anyway!”

“Yes, it does, Amy.” My smile was almost as wide as hers.

We lingered, ordered juice, coffee, warm, sweet muffins. We watched the painters. Amy’s day program and my office could wait.

Moments of joy must not be wasted. They are luxuries to be savored.

Susan McGee Bailey is a writer and a feminist. She directed the Wellesley College Centers for Women for 25 years before retiring to spend more time with her daughter and study creative nonfiction at Grub Street in Boston. Her non fiction has appeared in MS Magazine, The Boston Globe, and Gulf Stream. She is working on a memoir, “The Education of a Feminist.”

Upcoming events with Jen

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Guest Posts, How To, writing

Finding the Hook.

October 15, 2014

By Lisa McElroy.

It turns out that, when you’re writing your first novel, finding a hook is crazy hard. How can you capture a reader’s interest in the first few pages? How can you make her relate to your characters? How can you reel her in, keeping her on the line, guiding her expertly into your net, all the while making her think it was her own idea?

It was my own career teaching writing that brought me to question what I really knew about the process.

Since 2001 – for almost all of what I perceive to be my adult life – I’ve been instructing students on the art of legal writing. To teach first year law students to write is to teach communication, the kind that future lawyers need to develop to represent clients, help them solve their problems, convince courts to rule in their favor. Legal writing is highly structured, nearly formulaic in some instances. But as many legal scholars have discussed, it is also storytelling of a very high degree. A good attorney must find a way to tell a client’s story that draws the reader in, holds her interest, and – most importantly – evokes sympathy and understanding for the client’s plight.

It’s a lot like writing a novel – or a novella, at the very least.

Every fall, when a new crop of students sits down in my classroom, eager to learn, I realize for what seems like the first time that legal writing is, while natural to me, overwhelmingly difficult for students who do not know the lingo or the structure or the strategy that make up a simple memo to the file, a motion for summary judgment. The rules – and a certainty about when to break the rules – are all brand new, mysterious, seemingly ungraspable.

Friendship, Guest Posts

Shippers Gonna Ship

February 19, 2016

By Jackie Hedeman

It started with the hot TA. In the fall of my sophomore year of college, I took Victorian Literature, and spent most of section—“preceptorial” is what we called it at Princeton, leaving no pretension untapped—fantasizing in truly PG fashion about the soulful grad student leading discussion. Tom, the TA, looked like the front man of an indie folk band. That or the eponymous hero of George Elliot’s Daniel Deronda, which we were reading that semester.

I already knew that Tom was from the Midwest, and that he liked books. Who knew what else we had in common! I got back to my dorm and hopped on Facebook to find out.

My hopes were more or less immediately dashed. “Come on!”

“Come on what?” my roommate Amy asked. She was pouring over molecular biology notes and casually singing an aria, both of which she abandoned when I spoke. I must have sounded truly forlorn.

“He has a girlfriend.” I pointed at the screen.

Amy crowded me half out of my chair and took a look. “Looks like it,” she said. Then she cocked her head to one side. “You think he has a girlfriend because he has all these pictures with this girl?”

“Yeah?”

“Well,” said Amy, satisfied, “when you become a grad student, your students might find all the pictures of the two of us and go, ‘Oh no. She has a girlfriend.’”

Amy had a point. “You’re right,” I said. “I need to gather more evidence.”

Hardcore shippers do nothing but gather evidence. They pour over the canon, and when they run out of material they turn to author blog posts, or interviews with the actors, or anyone else who can offer any insights into what exactly is going on with a particular character. Continue Reading…

Guest Posts

There’s No “Making It” In Life. Guest Post By Amy Esacove.

November 23, 2011

Dear Manifesters,

So many exciting posts lately! Today’s post is by one of my closest friends: Amy Esacove. Amy recently relocated to Austin. Insert sad face. I will, however, be visiting her there in February when I teach my Manifestation Workshop at her home studio: the fabulous Black Swan Yoga. Amy is one the most talented people I know. She makes me laugh when I don’t feel like laughing. And when I do feel like laughing. She is as stunningly beautiful outside as she is inside, which is such a treat, isn’t it? I am proud of her beyond words for her braveness in going after what she wants, and especially for her upcoming feature film “North Blvd.” This blog post came out of our recent phone conversation about enjoying the ‘journey’. Meet Amy and learn about her journey. Get to know her here as soon her name will be up in lights.

Funny and Hot?! Why yes! It's: The Amy Esacove!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s No “Making It” In Life. By Amy Esacove.

Iʼm wondering how to describe how Iʼve been feeling lately.

Listless? Apathetic? Distracted?

I have recently crossed a threshold. I am starting to see success in something I have dreamed of for a very long time.

A goal is like a glistening oasis. It sparkles at the end of a long road. That road is hot and dry, no doubt. The dust and tumbleweeds and honeybadgers have defined my experience.

Theyʼve made me who I am.

And I have enjoyed the company along the way.

Having this dream, this goal, has been a great source of comfort. This dream is HUGE- at least it felt that way when I first envisioned it almost a decade ago.

I used to lay in bed and let the moonlight illuminate the room. The nighttime shadows of trees cast across my bedroom ceiling.Those clear, crisp Santa Monica nights would kiss me so sweetly. I would giggle and squirm with delight at the beauty of my dream becoming a reality. I was all alone and bathed in romance.

This dream, you might be wondering, is the feature film “North Blvd” which, for many years, has been a one woman show that I have been performing for audiences across the country. It tells the true story of my journey as an adopted child and my inevitable search and discovery of my birth parents. The experience was life changing. The film is dark, humorous, heart opening and hopeful.

Along the dusty road I have only had my instincts to survive. Water can be scarce in the desert.

After fifteen years in Los Angeles, I crawled out of the desert and moved to Austin, TX to make my film. I never thought I would be leaving the entertainment capitol of the world to make my film but what can I say, my instincts have never failed me.

The film is short; an abbreviated version of the soon to be funded feature film. When I watch it, I get little tears. Every time. Iʼm proud of what I have created, no matter what comes of it.

The staircase keeps going.

Thereʼs no “making it” in life.

Thereʼs satisfaction…but no real applause.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAKFlpdcfc&feature=related]

Thereʼs just me checking in with me. I find myself consoling the younger version of myself that thought that this dream was next to impossible.

“Oh honey, its not that big of a deal.”

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg]

She, in turn, reminds me to be incredibly proud. She canʼt believe how beautiful the film turned out! Sheʼs still in her pjʼs. Sheʼs still giddy and squirming with delight.

I wonder what future version of myself will be coming back to console this current version of myself. What has she accomplished?

That dusty road, that desert, helped me develop faith. And now that I am fixed on that path, I am incredibly grateful.

Just calm.

It might take some getting used to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep Manifesting Your Life

One Laugh at a Time

(Amy sure does!)

Jen (@manifestyogajen on twitter)

PS, If you live in Austin you are lucky enough to be able to take Amy’s yoga classes at Black Swan. Click here. (Yea, she pretty much does it all.)

Guest Posts, Interview, Video, Young Voices

Internet Superstar Amymarie Gaertner Talks (& Dances) For Jen Pastiloff

April 23, 2015

Jen Pastiloff here. I had the honor of meeting 20 year old Amymarie Gaertner last week when I was having a little vino with my friend Rachel (Yoga_girl on instagram.) Turns out Amymarie has MILLIONS of followers on Youtube and Vine and Instagram for her amazing freestyle dancing. She is a self-taught choreographer and dancer from Ohio. I found her to be charming, inspiring and talented as all get out. Enjoy!! I am so excited about the Girl Power: You Are Enough project.

Check out her do a little dance for me with my LOVE sign on below. Come join me on instagram at @jenpastiloff. Post your instagram name in the comments. xo, jp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9PEk0Xb9o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9JsnhiS65k

Gratitude, Guest Posts

Enough Is As Good As A Feast. By Amy Roost.

February 22, 2014

Enough Is As Good As A Feast. By Amy Roost.

I know a young man. From the age of 5 he was raised in the foster system, moving from home to home.

Last year, at the age of 18, he was “emancipated,” meaning he cut his ties with the courts and they with him. Since then, he was accepted into a group home, graduated high school, started classes at Palomar College and got a dishwashing job. Then he slipped up — got in some trouble. Whether he’s to blame, it’s hard to know. The good news is no charges were filed and his record remains clean. The bad news is he lost his job while he spent time in the county jail.

Last week we had lunch and caught up. He told me about his girlfriend: She’s outgoing, works as a carpet cleaner. Her dad died last year from alcoholism. Her mother likes him. He also told me where they live — in the back of a broken down van in Carlsbad.

They have a friend who lives in a house around the corner from where the van is parked. She lets them keep food in her refrigerator and use her shower. They’re eligible for food stamps, so they at least have food.

We had pizza for lunch and he took the leftovers to go. I drove him to the mall to get him a new skateboard deck. The van needs a fuel pump so the skateboard is his primary mode of transportation for now. We went to Costco so I could pick up a few “staples,” like wine, Pellegrino, aged cheddar, tomatoes. I bought him a case of ramen and some Cherrios. As we were loading things in the back of my car a $1 bill fell from his pocket onto the ground. He was pleasantly surprised.

As we waited at a stoplight on the way back to his “place,” we saw a woman standing on the corner with a dog and a sign that read “God Bless. Anything Helps.” The young man reached down into his pocket and handed the dollar bill to me, “Here, give this to her.” I rolled down my window and did as he told me. He then leaned across me and asked of the woman, “Are you hungry?” “Yes,” she said. The young man then reached into the backseat and grabbed the box with the leftover pizza and handed it out the window to the woman. I was surprised by both gestures, but especially the pizza because he’d already called his girlfriend on my phone to tell her he was bringing home dinner.

As we pulled away, the woman asked me, “Are you taking good care of him?” I said I was and she said, “Good. I’ll pray for you.” I told her I’d pray for her too.

When we were down the road a ways, the young man said, “Do you know who that was?” Surprised and wondering what I missed, I answered, “No.”

“That’s my girlfriend’s mother,” he told me.

A little further down the road we saw an older man rolling up the sidewalk in a wheel chair. The young man said, “That’s Danny.” I said, “Oh, how do you know Danny?” He said, “I help him get around when he needs pushing. I know most of the homeless people in Carlsbad. We all look out for each other.”

As I process the interaction in the warmth of my home overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. One thing I am sure of is that a young man who is struggling to make his way in the world and helping others make theirs schooled me in a few of the heavenly virtues, namely liberality (a nobility of thought or actions) and humility. I’m also sure that enough is ofttimes as good as a feast.

On this, the 50th anniversary of the declaration of the War on Poverty, may we all learn to share what we have, our leftovers, and found dollar bills. And no matter what we possess, be it a feast or just enough, may we all look out for each other.

Click photo to connect with Amy.

Her multi-dimensional suchness, Amy Roost, is a freelance writer, book publicist, legal and medical researcher, and vacation rental manager. She and her husband are the authors of “Ritual and the Art of Relationship Maintenance” due to be published later this year in a collection entitled Ritual and Healing: Ordinary and Extraordinary Stories of Transformation (Motivational Press). Amy is also Executive Director of Silver Age Yoga Community Outreach (SAYCO) which offers geriatric yoga teacher certification, and provides yoga instruction to underserved seniors.

Click here to connect with Amy.

***

Jennifer Pastiloff is a writer based in Los Angeles. She is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Jen will be leading a Retreat in Costa Rica at the end of March and her annual retreat to Tuscany is in July 2014. All retreats are a combo of yoga/writing and for ALL levels. Read this post to understand what a Manifestation retreat is. Check out her site jenniferpastiloff.com for all retreat listings and workshops to attend one in a city near you. Jen and bestselling author Emily Rapp will be leading another writing retreat to Vermont in October. A lot. Next up is a workshop in New York City on March 15. Book here.

Christmas, Family, Guest Posts

Tidings of Comfort and Joy.

December 25, 2014

By Melodye Shore.

I swear to you, there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell.
–Walt Whitman
It was when our mutual friend Katrina Kenison introduced me to Amy VanEchaute’s blog, My Path With Stars Bestrewn, that the seeds of a friendship were planted. In a later entry, “While My Pretty One Sleeps,” Amy wrote a gorgeous tribute to her beloved Momma, who seemed to me the stuff of fairy tales. At once magical and ephemeral, Amy’s Momma reminded me of my sweet Nana—not mirror images, mind you, but similar in all the places where light exists and love makes itself manifest in the world.

Amy’s Momma with Maymer, 1973

My Nana, early 1970s

Though we are separated by distance—1,900 miles, more or less—my subsequent conversations with Amy brought us closer. Over time, I came to realize just how much we have in common. Our personalities are uniquely our own, but we approach the world with a shared sense of wide-eyed wonderment, are attuned to music about Mother Earth and her creations, and words that whisper to us the wisdom of Transcendentalists, matriarchs, and the Eternal All-knowing.

A few weeks ago, when Amy posted a picture of the Victorian-style wreath she’d created as a Christmastime homage to her mother, I wished aloud for a memorial spot where I could visit Nana. Amy expressed similar regrets about her own grandmother. As fate would have it, “Maymer” is buried in a cemetery less than nine (count ’em, 9!) miles from my house.

Right then I realized that we’d ventured into that serendipitous space where wishes are sometimes granted, the realm of possibility where you don’t dare blink, lest you miss all the fun and magic. “I’ll make her a wreath,” I heard myself say, “I’ll find Maymer’s grave and lay it there for you.”

Get this: I’d never made a wreath for a loved one before, much less a total stranger! So what? My inner voice asked. I answered the challenge by grabbing my car keys and heading to Michaels. Not for me, something purely decorative…I’d pull together thematic elements! The circular shape would speak of unity—the joining of hands across the miles, a warm embrace in absentia. And the sturdy evergreens would represent our grandmothers’ character: strong women who endured hard times without complaint, who embroidered the fanciful into the everyday, and who sowed seeds of grace in every word and deed.

Behold! My first-ever homemade bow! See the tiny angel? She represents Maymer and Nana, spiritual giants of short stature. In the curve adjacent to the gilt-edged bow, I placed creamy white roses, as fair as our grandmothers’ porcelain complexions.

Here and there, I scattered various gifts of earth and sky, to help illustrate the underlying meaning of this circle: Hope, that thing with feathers; pinecones that represent growth and renewal; a sprig of cedar that symbolizes strength and healing; holly that speaks of loving sacrifice; and twining ivy, to depict the precious memories that cling to the very fabric of our being.

On these scrolls are written the songs of our heart: “Deep Peace” for Maymer, and “His Eye is on The Sparrow” for Nana. I tied them together with a tussie-mussie of forget-me-nots, tiny blue flowers that grew prolific in Maymer’s garden and inspired Amy’s momma to write this gorgeous haiku:

I then clipped two candles on the upper right corner, humming as I placed them among the greenery: These little lights of ours, I’m gonna let ‘em shine… Sprigs of mistletoe are scattered at the base of the candles, for who deserves bunches of kisses more than a beloved grandmother?

A chubby bird hovers mid-air, a shimmery gold confection that catches the sunlight with its feathers. Into its bosom, I tucked a pale pink rose from my backyard garden—a secret treasure of the sort that I suspect Nana and Maymer loved best. Over time the petals will fade and crumble, but as with our most cherished memories, their essence will remain.

Here’s how my finished wreath looked, lovingly placed as it was near the cedar tree where Maymer rests.

I discovered nearby yet another wreath, created with bougainvillea flowers by Mother Nature herself! It’s a very unusual arrangement, which makes me wonder if I was meant to stumble upon it in my walk across the grounds. And just beyond the reach of my camera, a songbird flew from tree to tree, chirping when it landed but never lighting long enough for me to get a clear glimpse of it. Felt more than seen, it was identifiable only through the sweetness of its song. “Like the soul,” Amy suggests to me later.

Sunset at the cemetery.

This wreath is truly a gift of the heart and of this season. It honors the circle of life, a miracle with no beginning or end, and brings tidings of comfort and joy to both the giver and recipient. In the same way that the Winter Solstice turns back the dark by lengthening the days, this gift has swaddled us in warmth and light—new friends who feel as if we’ve known each other forever, pulled by our grandmothers into a wordless embrace that is nothing less than divine.

About Melodye Shore: I am an established writer and researcher whose work appears in a wide variety of published articles, newsletters, and educational materials. My personal essay, “Luz” is included in the Young Adult anthology, DEAR BULLY: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories (HarperTeen, 2011), and I’m a co-contributor to THE GIRL GUIDE: Finding Your Place in a Mixed-up World (Sourcebooks, Inc., 2013). An experienced public speaker, I’ve been quoted on a variety of topics in Time Magazine, the Christian Science Monitor, the Los Angeles Times, Sports Illustrated, USA Today, and other publications.

My current book project, CAN I GET A WITNESS? Memoir of a Tent Evangelist’s Daughter, chronicles an itinerant childhood during which my family crisscrossed the country in a cramped sedan, setting up revival meetings wherever we landed.

While I still enjoy traveling, I feel most at home in Southern California, where I live with my husband. In addition to writing, my interests include art journaling, photography, gardening, and plotting new adventures. Connect with me here.

Featured image courtesy of Robert S. Donovan.

Jen Pastiloff is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Join her in Tuscany for her annual Manifestation Retreat. Click the Tuscan hills above. No yoga experience required. Only requirement: Just be a human being.

VANCOUVER! The Manifestation Workshop in Vancouver. Jan 17th. Book here. No yoga experience required. Only requirement is to be a human being.

Contact Rachel Pastiloff for health coaching, weight loss, strategies, recipes, detoxes, cleanses or help getting off sugar. Click here or email rachyrachp@gmail.com.

click to order Simplereminders new book.

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There’s No “Making It” In Life. By Amy Esacove.

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