Here's what the fuck I'm gonna do.
"I’m going to, I’m going to, I’m going” there’s so much "I promise", so much future, so much that has not yet happened.
My self is in the way. My beliefs about the way I am. My anti-beliefs. The things etched into my skin that I think the world can see but really which no one can and which no one gives a shit about anyway. (It’s worse than you think, they’re not thinking about you at all.) I have things I want to say, things I must get done, yet I’m incapacitated most days and I simply pace, walking back and forth in front of the window, in the bathroom, back and forth in front of the refrigerator.
What do I want? A bite of chocolate, a bite of yogurt, close the door, open it again, a bite of hummus, "I’m so full, ugh," open it again, a hard boiled egg, a spoonful of peanut butter, pacing, falling asleep, the day is gone.
My anti-beliefs: I am not smart enough, I can’t finish anything, I am bad.
Anti-anything, anti-anything, and I, and I, sounds like anti.
And I am in my own way.
Anti-in my own way.
Here’s what the fuck I am going to do about it: I am going to stand in front of the refrigerator and talk to it. I am going to tell it how I feel, and what the handle feels like in my hand, and what I smell, and how the juice from the kraut spilled on the floor and I didn’t bother to clean it up and how I don’t know what it means to be full and how full I am and I’ll take all those words and sit down with them and my anti-beliefs and my and I beliefs and I’ll try and create something.
And I will.
And I will probably get up again and eat or sleep or look at my scalp in the mirror, at how patches of my hair are missing, but I won’t pull any more out. I won’t grasp at the mirror in an effort to crawl inside of it.
I’ll sit back down somewhere and even though I can’t type and my anti-beliefs are crowd funding. I’ll write words, and strings of sentences and I’ll speak, I’ll make, I’ll keep making.
And one day maybe my own self won’t be as much IN THE way as THE WAY.
#hereswhatthefuck #writingandthebody #writingandthebodyretreat #whatareyuogoingtodo #getoutofyourownway
Dare to be a dork. Every day.
Dork it out. Dance. Don't care what people think. Wear what you want. Spin. Be silly. Watch how good you feel. Watch what you give others permission to feel. Watch people be more human. Be free.
#onbeinghuman #dance #dorkitout #daretobeadork #spin #laugh #besilly #beautyhunting #manifestationyoga
There's no upside to jealousy. It's certainly not beauty. Send 'em love instead. Try it.
See you at a workshop soon. All listed in link in profile. Next week Atlanta at @formyoga! #belove #manifestationyoga #onbeinghuman
Be this kind of person.
It's my goal every day. #manifestationyoga #onbeinghuman see you at a workshop soon. All listed in link in profile. Tag someone who is the kind of person who makes people feel good, who makes them feel human. Who brightens your day.