Browsing Tag

Mother’s day

Grief, Guest Posts

I Didn’t Want to Exist Today

May 14, 2017
chest

By Sarah Dwyer

I didn’t want to exist today. It’s not that I wanted to hurt myself or remove myself from the Earth forever. I just didn’t want to exist—just for today.

I got up to get ready for work, took a shower, and forced myself to blow dry my hair while tears dripped down my red, blotchy, scrunched up face and tightness pulled across my chest. I had this infuriating desire to do a handstand into a somersault—or to burst every inch of bone, muscle, and organ out of my skin. I didn’t just want my insides to escape my body, I wanted to be the one to initiate the explosion, to be in control of the process–to  push the button. 3, 2, 1…be free.

At that moment, I was (and I still am) physically incapable of both doing a handstand into a somersault and exploding, so, naked and sobbing, I climbed back into my bed, pulled my tangled sheets up to cover myself haphazardly, and lay there on my back with the sun shining brightly through the shade and curtain in my window. Continue Reading…

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 25, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 24, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 23, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 22, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 21, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 20, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 19, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 18, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 17, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 16, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 15, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 14, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.

Mother’s Day Retreat in Ojai, California.

April 13, 2017

Jen,
The effects of going on your yoga retreat
are continuing to ripple in my life. Stepping
away from everyday life to beautiful Ojai
for the weekend gave me brilliant new
insights in all aspects of my life, especially
those related to my career. It was truly
a life-changing experience, and I am so
grateful that you provided us with such
a special, memorable experience.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you!:) ~ Carrie Underwood, Santa Monica

 
Mother’s Day Weekend 2015

Join Jennifer Pastiloff for a private Manifestation Yoga Retreat® at a private residence in Ojai, California during the Mother’s Day Weekend Fri-Sat-Sun.

May 8th-9th-10th

Enjoy yoga with journaling, Manifestation workshops, meditation, wine

tasting, a dance party, wonderful vegetarian food, swimming (if warm enough),

hot tub & hiking. You can just relax at your leisure and enjoy the surroundings.