My sister’s latest which addresses this question: “So how do you know when it’s right? Is there a magic formula for equating the “rightness” of something?”
On Monday I took the kids to the jumping house and I watched all the typical kids playing. I watched my typical son play along side all the children. I watched my “special” child try to interact with the other children as they shunned him.
The following is by guest blogger Jen Smith, who is now a regular contributor to The Manifestation Station. Jen’s own site ‘Retreat Yourself Well‘ is one of my favorites and I am honored to be a part of it. It’s filled with great posts and articles as well as discounted yoga retreats and teacher trainings.
Digging through old love letters….
I came across my first Dear John letter. It made me think of letting go and moving on and how I, almost 20 years later, am learning from this 24-year-old girl on the concept of goodbye. I have some friends going through some serious heartache out there. I post this for you and as a reminder to myself of that specific ache that strikes you when you know you have to move on.
So, we keep going. We move beyond everything that we went through as children, and we forget daily. As tightly as we gripped onto not having the hurt – we move past it with as much determination. We forget the evil spirits that we brought forth, and it is a good thing. If that is as bad as it gets…then we are both very lucky. We face new challenges in new relationships, new lessons – but we got to know the demons very well, and we never want to meet them again. We just want to do whatever it is that we can to keep them far away, for we are too fragile.
And in memory our love is sweet and private. The past that we have that no one will ever understand is kept inside – only brought out when we have spent a night reaching self-destruction through whatever substance abuse that we choose, and whatever pain we miss from living with it for so long, only to let it go. Oh, sweet soft skin, oh, sweet little child language. I will miss it, and I will learn to forget it – a certain death. If only I could leave the world with you. If only I could float with your eyes and your intention. We tried our damnedest to be our own worst enemies, a type of nightmare, and resigned to try to save each other – but had no concept of what saints are made of.
dammit baby. DAMMIT.
Enjoy skimming on the water. Enjoy simplicity and ease. Name it in your life. Give it definition. When you have lived with it long enough you will wonder why you let yourself do anything else. Then, you will remember that once you understood the worst kind of fear…and that you were saved. Saved, not by me or any family member – but by the viking that is you. The man, the adult, the love that you live by, the man you were supposed to be.
I wish God had a plan for us. I wish a wizard would appear and give us back to each other with many tools, but goodbye to you, and thank God we have no time for each other anymore.
Kiss, dance around and rub on a new Goddess, who will guide you through life, it is all I want for you. Sad love, Mad love, dies sooner or later, and all that is left is a strong idea that no one will ever take you there again, and you will never know your demon again.
You are a poem I do not understand, a bird I cannot touch, a love that rips me up, and the education I professed not to study. You are selfish, you hold nothing back, you say it all, and stand..proud..a madman.. unaffected by judgement, because you can manipulate anyone back to your beauty.
I will always watch the birds on the beach fly away with your freedom, and there will not be a day that I do not cry to wish I could fly with you.
Journal entry a month later:
I felt your freedom that day in the back yard. I saw you climbing out of heartache and becoming you again, and I knew all that you were worth, even as you crawled away on your hands and knees. And as I drifted with a drifter, I wished I had your substance back. But I had to try. I had to live without you. I had to let you go. I had to let our passion soften into some unexplainable mist. And as I reach for the phone through your absence, I stop, and I think of all that I must move away from. I think of all that I wish I could have, and I realize that it should not be this hard.
Retreat Yourself Well offers Yoga Retreats, Workshops and Events with Master Teachers and Premiere Studios at a discount. Whether you are a student, a teacher, or a studio owner, Retreat Yourself Well can help you connect with the yoga community, broaden your experience and find your next yoga adventure.
Our goal is based on the concept of full yoga event service. From learning about the presenters, their intentions, the locations, the schedules, how to prepare and how to integrate back into society after the transformations take place; Retreat Yourself Well is dedicated to helping you have a full experience.
Classes are fulfilling, that is for sure, as there are amazing teachers everywhere, but how do you invest in the yoga adventure? Take a look at our list of retreats and workshops…if you have questions, as a member you can get on our Inquiry Board and ask away. Your questions are answered within 48 hours. You will come into your next yoga journey with knowledge and intention. This is how we expand; this is how we deepen our practice. Make sure you are doing it the way that is right for you!
“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?”― Jeanette Winterson,
This is such a special treat, my Dear Manifesters! Alissa Finerman, the renowned author and life/business coach has written a special post just for us. You can catch her this Saturday November 19th at 5 pm in Santa Monica at the Yoga Collective as we lead our workshop “Manifesting Your Top 1%”. There are still a couple spots available. You can register here.
Enjoy this article. I know I did!
Keep it Simple by Alissa Finerman
“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
~ ALBERT EINSTEIN
Sometimes life can be overwhelming with all the choices we have to make. So I like to keep things simple. And I find that keeping it simple is a great recipe for success.
I believe that deep down everyone wants to improve and lead his or her best life. Seems easy enough, but often challenging to implement because you need clarity and the courage to take action.
Here’s my recipe for success by keeping it SIMPLE…feel free to add on to make these rituals your OWN.
S: Define SUCCESS
We all want success but are you clear on what success means to you? To do so, it’s much more effective to focus on YOUR top 1% rather than on THE top 1%. Living your best life is dependent on doing what brings you energy, makes you feel alive and connected, and leaves you feeling fulfilled. It’s not dependent on your status, role, $$’s, or education as society likes to have us believe.
A client recently shared the following…
“I recommend if you have a dream follow it as soon as you can! I stepped into the French Culinary Institute this morning for my class after having 4 hours of sleep due to work and it didn’t matter, my heart was racing and I felt alive!!!”
Success is doing what makes you feel alive! Take the time to continually redefine what success means to you.
I: IMAGINE your ideal outcome.
I like to encourage people to think in terms of the ideal outcome. This starts with your imagination. If you want to start a business, become a yoga teacher, or buy a house, train your mind to see all the possibilities by creating an inspiring vision for what you want. Then you can work backwards to see how your vision translates into reality. However, if you start dreaming and immediately let obstacles throw you off course, you create a less than ideal outcome.
The work is to have the courage to think without obstacles rather than let your mind be clouded by everything that can go wrong or the challenges that could show up. People who create think about what can be rather than why something can’t be done. You can train yourself to do the same.
M: Create a winning MINDSET
We all have a story. Many of us believe our story defines us, but what really defines us is how we interpret the story or facts and choose to move forward.
According to the National Science Foundation, our brains produce as many as 50,000 thoughts per day. Ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily.
Your thoughts become your beliefs, which, in turn, become your mindset. Your mindset governs your actions, which lead to your results. In short, if you have a mindset that limits your potential, then you will likely accept limited results in your life.
Start becoming aware of the words you use on a consistent basis and how often you tell yourself: can vs. can’t or impossible vs. possible.
Is your mindset costing you success or helping you excel?
P: PRIORITIZE What’s Important To You
Making something a priority is different than simply saying something is important.
I have lots of clients who think it’s important to make time for the gym or make themselves a priority but that doesn’t mean they do it. I start every coaching workshop by having people tell me their “wins.” Wins are anything that make you feel proud and give you the feeling of “I did it.” The consistent theme that emerges as to why the wins are accomplished is simple –people make them a priority. So if you want time to read to your kids, have a better relationship with your parents, go to sleep earlier, take a vacation, or take a photography class, make it a priority and you will see different results.
L: LAUGH often
I learned this one from my favorite yoga teacher, Jen Pastiloff. One of the things that I love about her class is her ability to make us laugh so we don’t take ourselves too seriously. We all know that tree pose or crow is serious stuff, but who really cares if you fall out of a pose? The truth — I do! But seriously, laughing opens up your heart and brings good energy into your life. Would you prefer to surround yourself with people who are laughing and fun to be around or Debbie downers? It’s your choice!
E: Bring EXCITEMENT into your life
Everyone can use a little excitement in his or her life and the easiest way to do this is to pursue a goal that is truly exciting rather than something you should do. How do you want to invest your time and energy? All the brilliant innovators get 24 hours in a day – the only difference is how you decide to use them.
You will naturally be more motivated and resilient when you fill your day with projects/a purpose/goals that are exciting to you.
TOP 1% BOTTOM LINE: Although life can be complicated, we always have the choice to keep it SIMPLE. To achieve this you need to know what’s most important to you and then focus on your top priorities. The process starts by gaining clarity on how you define success and then practicing your rituals consistently.
Alissa is a Professional Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of “Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals” available on Amazon.com. She works with individuals and organizations to help them think bigger, redefine what’s possible, and get results. Alissa has an MBA from the Wharton School and a BA from the University of California, Berkeley. To learn more about coaching with Alissa and to take the Living in Your Top 1% quiz, please visit www.AlissaFinerman.com or www.facebook.com/alissafinermantop1.
What do you do when you feel stuck?
You know, you feel like you are plastered to a wall and some chick in a red beret is just staring at you?
I will tell you what I do.
What? You don’t think I get stuck ever?
(Hold on while I LOL.)
Sometimes I get so stuck that I feel as if I have taught the same yoga class 678 times. At least.
Sometimes I feel so stuck that it seems my car could drive itself, it doesn’t even need me because it’s been to the same places so many times.
Sometimes I feel as if I have made the same mistakes over and over that I must be insane because only crazies keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results, right?
Sometimes my thoughts feel very very stuck. Like Elmers. Like gum on a shoe. Like they are on a merry-go-round that ceased me merry a long time ago. They simply just go round and round.
There’s many days (fewer and father between lately) where I feel stuck. Where I feel down. Where I feel blue. Uninspired. Bored. Lazy.
You know. The gamut.
I did a scientific experiment that involved a lot of stuff, and here is what I found works best to get me unstuck and back to my Manifesting Self.
1. Laugh. I watch shows that makes me laugh (hint hint: Modern Family.) I hang out with funny people. I play with babies. I read funny books. I make dumb jokes. I sing out loud. When I laugh I feel the most “me” and it is from that space that I can move forward and get unstuck. From that place I can create. From that place I can take myself less seriously.
2. Hang out with people who inspire me. See earlier Daily Manifestation Challenge called “Who You Hanging With?” Who inspires you? Are you surrounding yourself with these people. Make a list in the comment section below. And, if you aren’t hanging with them yet, I suggest you make a date. It’s kind of a no-brainer but when you hang with people that excite and inspire you, it rubs off on you! It’s like a rope that they throw down the hole to pull you out of that ditch you are stuck in.
3. Make vision boards. They don’t even have to be proper Vision boards (like there is even a such thing as a “proper” vision board) but something where you are visualizing your desires and dreams and the things you want to manifest into your life. Visualization is key! Can you visualize yourself being unstuck? This is a profound question. If the answer is no my advice is to keep trying. Keep practicing. Repeat this mantra: I can manifest anything I put my attention on.
(Ahem. What are you putting your attention on anyway?)
4. Take a class. This weekend I am taking a class purely by chance My friend Juliet offered me a ticket to a wine and cheese class. Yes, I know. It had my name all over it. But you know what? It made me realize how much I love learning and miss being in school or taking class. Keep learning and studying always. Forever.
5. Do yoga. Or something. Anything! I am a yoga teacher, so yea, I do the yoga. But do whatever. Hike! Walk on the beach! Get connected to nature. Go watch the sun set or rise. Something that gives you a connection to something outside of yourself. Get your blood pumping and your adrenaline going. I notice I get majorly depressed when I am stagnant too long and yet the longer I am stagnant the harder it is to get motivated. Catch 22? Why, yes! But most of life is. Get used to it.
5. Do things that make you feel good.To quote my own poem, “How To Make A Life”
Let your joy be contagious and spread through
Your home, your job, your children.
Let it spread through the world
Like a virus so that when you forget it,
Every so often, you’ll catch it from someone else.
Whatever brings you joy, do it. Be it taking a bubble bath, curling in bed with a good book, cracking open a nice bottle of Cab, buying a nice smelling candle, painting, calling your friends in New Jersey, playing with your toddler, yoga. Whatever it is, just do it.
I want to coin that phrase “Just Do It” but I swear I have heard it somewhere before?
Today’s DMC is about being stuck and getting un-stuck. In the comment section below, list your experiences with being stuck. List what you do to get out or what you would like to do next time. List ideas you may have. Hey, I need them as much as you do, Dear Manifesters!
Being a creative and free spirit, it is easy to feel restless and bored. And blue. And yes, sometimes uninspired. I am always looking for ways to keep blossoming and to keep my ideas fresh. I really don’t like feeling this a whole lot:
Keep on manifesting your life,
One laugh a time,
The following is a guest post by my student Kate, who has now become a dear friend. I started following her blog (‘stalking’ would be a more fitting word) and I knew instantly that she was someone I wanted to know better. I am so inspired by what she is doing in 365 to 30. She is truly taking the bull by the horns and living the life she has imagined for herself. She is manifesting her dreams and sharing them with us daily. And let me tell you, her dreams rock! Here is a taste of why I love Kate McClafferty so much. The fact that she is stunningly beautiful, inside and out, is an added bonus.
When Jennifer asked me to write a guest post for Manifestation Station, I was beyond excited considering I love Jennifer…I love her blog…I love her spirit…I love her humor and I love her honesty.
Like Jennifer I am a firm believer that we can manifest our deepest desires, dreams and destinies if we set our mind to it.
Why do I believe this?
Because I have been living it for the last 120 days.
Four months ago I started a project entitled 365 til 30 and I have been changed by the experience.
You see four months ago I was feeling BLAH. I had a good case of “poor me” and I was totally indulging it. A few days before my 29th birthday, I was sitting at lunch with my best girlfriend going on and on about everything that was wrong with my life. I didn’t own a house…I didn’t have a savings account…my career wasn’t where I wanted it to be and I felt like I was being punished for some reason.
I was just totally depressed by it all. Actually, I was exhausted from it all. I was tired of comparing myself to other people. I was tired of feeling less joy in my everyday life because I was so focused on what was missing instead of focusing on what I had to be thankful for. I just hated the way I felt and I knew I had a part in creating my reality. I felt heavy and I couldn’t handle feeling that way anymore.
So in an inspired moment I wrote a list of 10 things. These 10 things represented things I wanted to experience, accomplish and manifest. I admit, some are silly but some mean so much to me that I would just explode with delight if they happened.
All I knew is that when I looked at the list I couldn’t help but grin. I saw the life I wanted. I saw my deepest desires in writing.
I wrote the list from a joyful place. I wrote the list from a silly place. I wrote the list from a grateful place. I wrote the list from a “it is totally possible and has already happened!” place.
In 4 short months I have been amazed by what is possible when you take an active role in manifesting your destiny.
I am not trying to say that every day has been easy or that some days I haven’t felt discouraged. But, I can tell you this…I have never felt so inspired or alive.
I have also never felt so sure that everything is unfolding exactly as it should.
Today’s Daily Manifestation Challenge is all about Joy.
What brings you the most joy?
Why, you ask? Why list my joy on this here website?
Because when you think of these things you start to inhabit the feeling of that which you are thinking of. Works like a charm. Works like an Almond Joy. Works like a vacation (Almost.)
Are you doing things everyday that bring you joy? (If the answer is no, I want you to shut the computer and start. Right. Now.)
This is one of my missions in the world. To provide a space where people have more joy in their lives and truly feel that they deserve it!
So, what is it that brings you joy? As you answer, see if you can allow yourself to be in the feeling of what you are thinking about.
By now you know that Modern Family brings me joy.
My husband brings me joy.
Often, a good glass of wine brings me joy. Especially when I come home and my husband has a candle lit and said glass of wine sitting next to it for me. Especially then.
Belly laughing and smirks, sleeping in my own bed and also in fancy hotel beds, these bring me joy.
Seeing how far my sister has come brings me great joy.
Music brings me joy.
When my yoga classes sing out loud, JOY!
When they dance… even more joy.
People sharing with me what they are manifesting into their lives and the comments people leave here fill me with joy.
My friends successes bring me joy!
How when I go to the bank or Whole Foods near my house or other places I frequent, people know my name and I know theirs. It’s like Cheers. But better. I love connecting. It brings me joy!
Leading Manifestation Yoga® Workshops and Retreats! So. Much. Joy. Can’t. Handle. The . Joy.
All things Italy bring me immense joy and pleasure.
I also ask you this: What are you doing to bring others joy? To spread joy in the world?
How to Make a Life
First: Take everything you’ve ever learned and everything
You’ve yet to discover and place it in a box labeled Thank You.
Second: Take a picture of your face and remember
That in ten years time you will be amazed at how gorgeous you were.
Be amazed now.
Third: Find someplace to live.
Make sure it has the ability to let light fall
Across the room in such a way that every so often,
You’ll stop and mouth the words “Ah, sunlight.”
Before you finish dusting the books.
Don’t let the books get dusty.
Open them and reread your favorite sentences
Or give the books away.
Fourth: Fall in love.
Touch. More than you think.
Have a child if you want one.
If you don’t, don’t.
Let your child out into the world
Discovering for themselves just how magical
It is. Or it isn’t.
It’s theirs to decide.
Give your child a lot of books.
Fifth: Get a job.
Remember this job is not who you are.
You get to open the silk door of You,
And decide, over and over, as many times as your socks,
Just who you are.
Your job will feed you and your children if you have them.
If you forget this step,
You will be reminded of it if you ever lose your job.
No, my job cannot be who I am
because here I am still standing in line at the post office
tapping my feet,
and yet I have no job but still, I am.
Sixth: Do yoga.
Let your body discover what it’s like to move
without your brain holding it’s hand.
Tell your brain to take a hike.
Let your body believe fully in it’s own powers.
Let every person you’ve stored inside your muscles out every so often,
Lastly: Do things that make you feel good.
Let your joy be contagious and spread through
Your home, your job, your children.
Let it spread through the world
Like a virus so that when you forget it,
Every so often, you’ll catch it from someone else.
Now go Jump for Joy! But first, make a list below.
Today’s DMC is a fun one.
What are the 3 words that inspire you most today?
I challenge you to keep these words with you all day and fill yourself up with them.
In the comment section below list your 3 words. You must list it in the comment section below to be added into the contest to win a spot at the “Manifesting Your Top 1% Workshop” with author Alissa Finerman and myself November 19th.
If you are so inspired, for “extra credit”, write a poem below with your 3 words included. You will not be graded, judged or tested on the poem. You will only be Loved.
I ask not that you concern yourself with if the poem is “good” or not. I am simply challenging you to envelop yourself in your words and allow yourself to be creative. You know that old adage: If only the best birds sang in the forrest, it would be an awfully quiet place? (Or something like that.)
My 3 words of the day are: compassion, inspiration, creativity.
Notice how every cell in your body becomes infused with these words and how doors start to open where once there were just walls. Eat your words! Breathe your words! Live your words. Your words become your world.
Or something like that.
What are your 3 words to live by today?
So I wanted to remind you:
Happy Sunday, Dear Manifesters!
Be Fearless on your path. That’s the Weekend Challenge and please know that letting go of a fear can be some scary sh*t but the Universe indeed has your back and is conspiring in your favor.
And in case you didn’t realize it yet, I am also conspiring in your favor.
With tricks up my sleeve,
Imagine a room.
In that room place a typewriter on a desk
and sit a chair at that desk.
Sit down on this chair and type out the words:
The click clack of keys
takes you back to before
you were who you think you have always been.
Imagine you write the words:
This is the story of an amazing life.
Scoot the chair in a little closer.
There, now you have better light.
Tuck your feet under you and continue.
Imagine a door to the room.
The door opens and someone asks you
if you have finished your story yet.
Without looking up from the typewriter:
I am starting over
you tell them.
This is the story of my life.
This is the story of an amazing life.
Perfect: being entirely without fault or defect : flawless <a perfect diamond>
Then she told me something that her 6 year old son Will said and I realized the err of my ways. It is brilliant and I will now steal it and use it in class. Quoting Sir Will, of course.
He’s just learned the word ‘extinct’ at school. He comes in and says :
“Mom, why isn’t the word ‘perfect’ extinct since nothing is perfect?”
My point exactly, Will! Why hadn’t I said this yet? ( Because often 6 year olds are smarter, more observant and more honest.)
He made this deduction himself after the constant reminder from his mom that no one is perfect.
As I often say in class: Perfect people are boring people.
I even said it on Good Morning America! ( Aren’t they though?)
All jokes aside, at some point I forgave myself for not being perfect. For many years, I struggled with an eating disorder and the feeling that I had to be/look perfect. This nearly killed me, in many ways. I still struggle with this in yoga class at times, I won’t lie to you. We all do. But it’s a silly notion, this extinct idea. I am committed to not being perfect. Conforming absolutely? Who wants that? Excellent beyond improvement? Blergh.
To be clear, we are perfect. Perfectly imperfect. I can’t hear well. That’s ok. My nephew has Prader Willi Syndrome and Autism and he is perfect as he is.
It’s this idea of perfection as something outside of ourselves. As something better than ourselves. As something someone else has decided. The idea of perfect as something unattainable.
I believe it is most certainly inside each and every one of us already. But let’s unite and give up this notion that it isn’t.
A child’s laugh is perfect. A sunset blue and purple as a bruise is perfect. A good cup of coffee can damn well be perfect.
In the comment section below please answer: Where in your own life can you stop trying to be perfect?